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Good writers borrow, great writers steal, and I recycle. Here’s what I used to say about myself on LinkedIn:

If you need a Master Wordsmith, a Legendary Storyteller, a Conceptual Award-Winning Word-Ninja, or someone who promises to make your spot go viral overnight, look somewhere else.

If you need the right message for your audience to take notice, sit up, and take action, we might be a good match.

I’m easy to get along with, I pick up your core needs quickly, and I can translate to all levels of technical and cultural expertise. Hang on, there’s a shorter way to say that: I’m a pro.

Unless you’ve invented a new kind of business communication, I can handle your needs. (And wow, if you have stumbled on the Next Big Thing, congratulations and let’s talk.) Sure, I write brochures, print ads, flyers, web copy, emails, and whatnot—who hasn’t? But I also write kickass infographics, video scripts, and social media streams that made clients believe in magic. I have also written cat horoscopes, no kidding.

My client list runs pretty long, and I’d just as soon send you references than impress you with company names, but what the heck, here’s a few.

• CNET
• Expedia
• Microsoft
• Seattle’s Best Coffee
• The Stranger
• T-Mobile
• Wizards of the Coast

Alphabetical order because I love them all equally.

Interested? Let’s chat. Ping me for samples and an amusingly awkward coffee meeting, if you like.

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